Zij staan weer samen op die plaats
waar zij voor altijd samen staan
en later kijken zij even zijdelings
lachend in elkanders ogen
maar zij spreken hier niet van.
Dan beiden in de herfstzon
over het schreiend kind gebogen
samen troostend, samen even
proeven van hoe zij hadden kunnen zijn
in Schotland is dit, in september.
Dan komt de echtgenoot, wij drieën
weten alles van elkaar, of toch genoeg
om liefderijk te zwijgen
of iets anders te bespreken.
Na jaren zijn wij zwijgend bij elkaar
of praten over wat wij nalieten en deden
in de zachte hangmat van ons heden.
(You have grown better
at being just you
and I'm diving deeper
into love for you)
sept. 1986. Angie en Al
donderdag 31 maart 2011
The chance is slim
The dead are dancing
at the party now
the lost are prancing
anyway anyhow
the lonely hoping
the ticket is right
the lost try coping
with the neon light
oh wish you were here
to try and taste the fear
of being out on a limb
and the chance is slim
we won't sink, we'll swim
yes the chance is slim
we won't sink, we'll swim
The world is crumbling
'fore our very eyes
the dice are tumbling
gambling away lives
the house is falling
all around our ears
angels are calling
from beyond the years
refr.
1986.
at the party now
the lost are prancing
anyway anyhow
the lonely hoping
the ticket is right
the lost try coping
with the neon light
oh wish you were here
to try and taste the fear
of being out on a limb
and the chance is slim
we won't sink, we'll swim
yes the chance is slim
we won't sink, we'll swim
The world is crumbling
'fore our very eyes
the dice are tumbling
gambling away lives
the house is falling
all around our ears
angels are calling
from beyond the years
refr.
1986.
Pastures of dread
Every harvest is blighted
by the lord almighty
every game gets rigged
before it becomes big
Pastures of dread
walking with the dead
I don't know what I said
walking in the lonely
pastures of dread
All the dreams are planned
and all the schemes are scanned
for impropriety
life's just a lie to me
refr.
1986.
by the lord almighty
every game gets rigged
before it becomes big
Pastures of dread
walking with the dead
I don't know what I said
walking in the lonely
pastures of dread
All the dreams are planned
and all the schemes are scanned
for impropriety
life's just a lie to me
refr.
1986.
Kieferkasseien
Ik zag hoe de regen regen was
en onverdroten het kerkplein afspoot
en hoe dat glansde, glinsterde
de kasseien hadden alle kleuren
zij waren door de wereld en het water
door aarde en weer gepolijst
diepe drukke tinten in veel meer dan grijs
er was oker, bruin en zoveel soorten grijs
en ja, alles blonk en ik wist
hier is zoveel, zoveel nuance
het lijkt de hele wereld wel
dat had Anselm Kiefer ook gezien.
30/03/11
en onverdroten het kerkplein afspoot
en hoe dat glansde, glinsterde
de kasseien hadden alle kleuren
zij waren door de wereld en het water
door aarde en weer gepolijst
diepe drukke tinten in veel meer dan grijs
er was oker, bruin en zoveel soorten grijs
en ja, alles blonk en ik wist
hier is zoveel, zoveel nuance
het lijkt de hele wereld wel
dat had Anselm Kiefer ook gezien.
30/03/11
dinsdag 29 maart 2011
Reis
Iets werd in hem verzegeld
een brief, een breekbaar postpakket
afgestempeld in puur goud
per express naar het paleis
waar bestemmeling en schrijver
op een schemerdag, laat wijs
elkaar de eer zullen bewijzen
het saluut van hen die blijven.
Zij maakt reizen in haar huis, haar hoofd
en beheerst haar hart, haar lichaam.
Hij vermijdt de veiligheid
maar is getatoeëerd terdege
- haar initialen in zijn lijf.
Samen zullen zij altijd
apart, hun rijke reizen maken.
zomer 1986.
een brief, een breekbaar postpakket
afgestempeld in puur goud
per express naar het paleis
waar bestemmeling en schrijver
op een schemerdag, laat wijs
elkaar de eer zullen bewijzen
het saluut van hen die blijven.
Zij maakt reizen in haar huis, haar hoofd
en beheerst haar hart, haar lichaam.
Hij vermijdt de veiligheid
maar is getatoeëerd terdege
- haar initialen in zijn lijf.
Samen zullen zij altijd
apart, hun rijke reizen maken.
zomer 1986.
Risico
Jesus wist de weg op water
ik vond het pad naar puinen
waar ik niet zalig werd maar later
vond ik jouw inham voor de duinen
waar ik voelde dat ik veilig was
in jouw risico, je weddenschap
de warme woeling van het sas
naar stromen waar ik water trap
ter plaatse bij je lome lenden
in hoeken die wij krols herkenden
als einddoelen, als broedplaatsen.
1986.
ik vond het pad naar puinen
waar ik niet zalig werd maar later
vond ik jouw inham voor de duinen
waar ik voelde dat ik veilig was
in jouw risico, je weddenschap
de warme woeling van het sas
naar stromen waar ik water trap
ter plaatse bij je lome lenden
in hoeken die wij krols herkenden
als einddoelen, als broedplaatsen.
1986.
Regen
Jij hebt op mij geregend
toen ik niet kon schuilen
je was de lucht boven een steppe
verteloos en vol valkuilen
en hoe behoedzaam ik ook sloop
ik struikelde en wilde huilen.
Maar jij was natuur, onschuldig
wreed en lief, dus protest is nul en
jij was neutrale neerslag, regen
en ik schuw het schuilen.
Nu alles leeg en bitter is
zou ik mijn onmacht willen ruilen
voor dood, het eind van ergernis.
1986.
toen ik niet kon schuilen
je was de lucht boven een steppe
verteloos en vol valkuilen
en hoe behoedzaam ik ook sloop
ik struikelde en wilde huilen.
Maar jij was natuur, onschuldig
wreed en lief, dus protest is nul en
jij was neutrale neerslag, regen
en ik schuw het schuilen.
Nu alles leeg en bitter is
zou ik mijn onmacht willen ruilen
voor dood, het eind van ergernis.
1986.
After-shave
De bescheidenheid van mannen
die ordentelijk ten onder gaan
naast vrouwen die al ouder worden
maar net niet zo zielig als zij.
In café's en restaurants die vallen zijn soms
en vaak veel duurder dan zij dachten
voor ze hieraan begonnen op een dag
dat ze zo vlot geloofden dat
dit alles nog met after-shave
kon worden opgelost.
1986.
die ordentelijk ten onder gaan
naast vrouwen die al ouder worden
maar net niet zo zielig als zij.
In café's en restaurants die vallen zijn soms
en vaak veel duurder dan zij dachten
voor ze hieraan begonnen op een dag
dat ze zo vlot geloofden dat
dit alles nog met after-shave
kon worden opgelost.
1986.
Ik noem jou
Dat alle goden en demonen
mij bewaren en vrijwaren
voor het zo onzalig onheil
dat jij enkel doornen bent, geen roos
want hoe rijk nu en zegezeker
ik ook ben, dat gevoel is broos.
Laat mij geen blaaswier zijn, oneetbaar
of drijfhout aangespoeld op stranden
waar jij niet wandelt, niet naar kijkt.
Sta me bij.
Nader mijn lief, tot u
zo wil ik gaan, ootmoedig
een boeteling voor al die jaren
die in honger zijn vergaan
en de test net niet doorstonden
die de liefde en de waarheid
in hun drieste deemoed eisen.
In deze vage verzen
ligt mijn lot verzegeld
mijn bestemming, en ik noem jou
altijd noem ik jou.
Ik noem jou vocht, ja alle water
ik noem jou Delacroix,
wég van het kruis, dat lauwe teken
dat ons zou zalig maken maar verdoemde.
Neen, dan één borst bloot, een vod als vlag
tussen soldaten, ongeschoren
ik noem jou liefde en de vrijheid
onderhuids getatoeëerd
ik noem jou.
zomer 1986. Marian.
mij bewaren en vrijwaren
voor het zo onzalig onheil
dat jij enkel doornen bent, geen roos
want hoe rijk nu en zegezeker
ik ook ben, dat gevoel is broos.
Laat mij geen blaaswier zijn, oneetbaar
of drijfhout aangespoeld op stranden
waar jij niet wandelt, niet naar kijkt.
Sta me bij.
Nader mijn lief, tot u
zo wil ik gaan, ootmoedig
een boeteling voor al die jaren
die in honger zijn vergaan
en de test net niet doorstonden
die de liefde en de waarheid
in hun drieste deemoed eisen.
In deze vage verzen
ligt mijn lot verzegeld
mijn bestemming, en ik noem jou
altijd noem ik jou.
Ik noem jou vocht, ja alle water
ik noem jou Delacroix,
wég van het kruis, dat lauwe teken
dat ons zou zalig maken maar verdoemde.
Neen, dan één borst bloot, een vod als vlag
tussen soldaten, ongeschoren
ik noem jou liefde en de vrijheid
onderhuids getatoeëerd
ik noem jou.
zomer 1986. Marian.
Zonder hinder
Verliefd op vrouwen
die mannennamen dragen
en oorbellen krijgen
bij de ingang van
algemene ziekenhuizen.
Teveel gevrijd misschien
tegen stapels autobanden
met verontwaardiging buiten
van kunstliefhebbers, recensenten
- altijd mistevreden
bij het zien van zoveel passie.
Je zou haar willen schaken
of voor een tijd verlaten
maar vergeten gaat nu niet
te vergeven is er niets
en de lucht hier, ginder
is een kind van toen en nu
en later, zonder hinder.
1986.
die mannennamen dragen
en oorbellen krijgen
bij de ingang van
algemene ziekenhuizen.
Teveel gevrijd misschien
tegen stapels autobanden
met verontwaardiging buiten
van kunstliefhebbers, recensenten
- altijd mistevreden
bij het zien van zoveel passie.
Je zou haar willen schaken
of voor een tijd verlaten
maar vergeten gaat nu niet
te vergeven is er niets
en de lucht hier, ginder
is een kind van toen en nu
en later, zonder hinder.
1986.
Sterren
Onder starre zwarte sterren
heb ik bij de deuren van de dood
stamelend met ijzig hart
meer dan een jaar de tijd getart
in mijn eigen doolhof nestend
tot de takken en mijn ogen braken.
Van het ik tot het zelf gaan
zonder zin of tastzin te bestaan
in wolken, draaikolken
vergeefs het wachtwoord zoeken.
Onverrichterzake
vlakbij bomen die schaduwen
en schimmen die bomen zijn
onder starre zwarte sterren.
1986
heb ik bij de deuren van de dood
stamelend met ijzig hart
meer dan een jaar de tijd getart
in mijn eigen doolhof nestend
tot de takken en mijn ogen braken.
Van het ik tot het zelf gaan
zonder zin of tastzin te bestaan
in wolken, draaikolken
vergeefs het wachtwoord zoeken.
Onverrichterzake
vlakbij bomen die schaduwen
en schimmen die bomen zijn
onder starre zwarte sterren.
1986
Limerick
A young man from Naragansett
when thinking of girls he had met
fondly recalled Lucy
whose cunt was so juicy
he felt pressed to use worse words than wet
1985
when thinking of girls he had met
fondly recalled Lucy
whose cunt was so juicy
he felt pressed to use worse words than wet
1985
maandag 28 maart 2011
Final call
On that fateful night
when the axe is on the wing
you stay sober on black coffee
your mind fixed on one thing
stand or fall
stay or go
final call
yes or no
'cause when the axe falls
it's the end of all choice
you'll have no more tricks up your sleeve
you'll know it's the end boy
refr.
So if I could pray
I'd sure be down on my knees
I'd crawl for opportunity
saying thank you saying please
refr.
1981.
when the axe is on the wing
you stay sober on black coffee
your mind fixed on one thing
stand or fall
stay or go
final call
yes or no
'cause when the axe falls
it's the end of all choice
you'll have no more tricks up your sleeve
you'll know it's the end boy
refr.
So if I could pray
I'd sure be down on my knees
I'd crawl for opportunity
saying thank you saying please
refr.
1981.
Friend
Such a hole
and what a gap
into my soul
what fucking crap
since you bowed out
since you turned
your heart about
and I'm burned
friend
it's the end
friend
'round the bend
Such a feeling
of total loss
I am reeling
under the cross
of emptiness
no more sharing
no readiness
no more daring
refr.
So many years
so much laughter
all so clear
what comes after
joint inspiriration
rivers of beer
joint dissipation
no longer here
refr.
may you prosper
may you thrive
tho' you lost her
on that drive
of mindless passion
to be free
after a fashion
out of your tree
refr.
1981.
and what a gap
into my soul
what fucking crap
since you bowed out
since you turned
your heart about
and I'm burned
friend
it's the end
friend
'round the bend
Such a feeling
of total loss
I am reeling
under the cross
of emptiness
no more sharing
no readiness
no more daring
refr.
So many years
so much laughter
all so clear
what comes after
joint inspiriration
rivers of beer
joint dissipation
no longer here
refr.
may you prosper
may you thrive
tho' you lost her
on that drive
of mindless passion
to be free
after a fashion
out of your tree
refr.
1981.
One more wasted night
It's only the pinball-machines
that are winking at you
and yes there's also the whores
but that's not what you want to do
so go and paw them cobblestones
of these late night streets
yes, plenty of offers there
but nobody to really meet
and ooh your eyes don't talk
and ooh your feet just walk
past the windows
into the shadows
of one more wasted night
and it just ain't right
no it just ain't right
Are you somehow frightened now
you've lost your lover
full of doubts and wishing
are you still thinking of her ?
yes it's quite hard closing books
after so many years in thrall
to fantasy and compromise
you better make sure you don't fall
refr.
1981.
that are winking at you
and yes there's also the whores
but that's not what you want to do
so go and paw them cobblestones
of these late night streets
yes, plenty of offers there
but nobody to really meet
and ooh your eyes don't talk
and ooh your feet just walk
past the windows
into the shadows
of one more wasted night
and it just ain't right
no it just ain't right
Are you somehow frightened now
you've lost your lover
full of doubts and wishing
are you still thinking of her ?
yes it's quite hard closing books
after so many years in thrall
to fantasy and compromise
you better make sure you don't fall
refr.
1981.
zaterdag 26 maart 2011
Time dragging
Time never stales
as people surely do
singing like sick whales
about what they went through
deep down in the sea
of uncertainty
Time won't wear out
as lovers always do
you know what that's about
or was for me and you
high up in the air
where nothing is shared
One man's truth
is another man's nagging
one man's leisure
is another's time dragging
time dragging
time dragging on
Space simply shrinks
to houses and to rooms
where everyone thinks
about brides and grooms
deep blue is the sea
of inanity
Space crumbles up
like a coin that's tossed
in a beggar's tin cup
to some day be lost
somenthing in the air
that's not really there
1988.
as people surely do
singing like sick whales
about what they went through
deep down in the sea
of uncertainty
Time won't wear out
as lovers always do
you know what that's about
or was for me and you
high up in the air
where nothing is shared
One man's truth
is another man's nagging
one man's leisure
is another's time dragging
time dragging
time dragging on
Space simply shrinks
to houses and to rooms
where everyone thinks
about brides and grooms
deep blue is the sea
of inanity
Space crumbles up
like a coin that's tossed
in a beggar's tin cup
to some day be lost
somenthing in the air
that's not really there
1988.
Time enough for love
You and me baby, we've got what it takes
you and me we're playing for high stakes
we've been to the moon and back again
and we've danced in the silver rain
your name's invisibly tattooed
on me and mine on you
yeah we've got
time enough for love
love enough for all time
and it's all yours
and it's all mine
love enough for all time
time enough for love
love enough for all time
oh my god you sure are so good-looking
and I know you've got something cooking
something cooking in the oven
of your incredibly sweet lovin'
your name's invisibly tattooed
on me and mine on you
refr.
we're not complaining of fatigue
as we don't play out of our league
1988.
you and me we're playing for high stakes
we've been to the moon and back again
and we've danced in the silver rain
your name's invisibly tattooed
on me and mine on you
yeah we've got
time enough for love
love enough for all time
and it's all yours
and it's all mine
love enough for all time
time enough for love
love enough for all time
oh my god you sure are so good-looking
and I know you've got something cooking
something cooking in the oven
of your incredibly sweet lovin'
your name's invisibly tattooed
on me and mine on you
refr.
we're not complaining of fatigue
as we don't play out of our league
1988.
Lonesome traveller
Ah the lonesome traveller
has got so far to go
just when he's gonna get back home
is what he cannot know
Ah the lonesome traveller
is on a barren road
just how he could meet someone else
is what he wasn't told
when he started his journey
the stars shone in his eyes
and he prayed to the moon above
while the stars shone in his eyes
all the doggone lonely nights
the stars shone in his eyes
Ah the lonesome traveller
is looking at his map
it don't say how the journey ends
and doesn't know the traps
ah the lonesome traveller
looks all along the way
for a friend to smile upon and
love in better days
refr.
ah you lonesome traveller
stop staring at the sky
and look me in the eye
stop staring at the stars
and tell me who you are !
1989.
has got so far to go
just when he's gonna get back home
is what he cannot know
Ah the lonesome traveller
is on a barren road
just how he could meet someone else
is what he wasn't told
when he started his journey
the stars shone in his eyes
and he prayed to the moon above
while the stars shone in his eyes
all the doggone lonely nights
the stars shone in his eyes
Ah the lonesome traveller
is looking at his map
it don't say how the journey ends
and doesn't know the traps
ah the lonesome traveller
looks all along the way
for a friend to smile upon and
love in better days
refr.
ah you lonesome traveller
stop staring at the sky
and look me in the eye
stop staring at the stars
and tell me who you are !
1989.
Pub crawl
Surely she must love him
standing there with folded wings
waiting for a word, a gesture
that would make it plain he'll take her
Sure he's a politician
dressed just so, you can't miss it
popularity comes easy
and if it don't he'll just lease it
do the pub crawl
see it all and fall
for the pub crawl
do the pub crawl
Surely she's on TV
sure she would not look at me
right, if you are where she is now
smiling ain't your game anyhow
Sure he's the boss around here
making good on every beer
with a word or with a gesture
he is surely gonna get her
refr.
1989.
standing there with folded wings
waiting for a word, a gesture
that would make it plain he'll take her
Sure he's a politician
dressed just so, you can't miss it
popularity comes easy
and if it don't he'll just lease it
do the pub crawl
see it all and fall
for the pub crawl
do the pub crawl
Surely she's on TV
sure she would not look at me
right, if you are where she is now
smiling ain't your game anyhow
Sure he's the boss around here
making good on every beer
with a word or with a gesture
he is surely gonna get her
refr.
1989.
vrijdag 25 maart 2011
Pictures of the worm in the apple
Elections get rigged
and heroin rules
no one gives a fig
and the dying child drools
you see friends and lovers
at each other's throats
and the girl on the cover
is in stolen clothes
writers persecuted
and artists shot down
the protest is muted
the hit man's in town
pictures of the worm in the apple
your heart stops and starts
as it grapples
with the notion of the worm getting bigger
and you feel your worst fears being triggered
by pictures of the worm
don't they make you squirm ?
pictures of the worm in the apple
the government's helpless
while hunger and AIDS
destroy our defences
with savaging raids
corruption and crime
extortion and hate
and we're praying for time
but we're leaving it late
the movies sell blood
and violence is rife
while preachers sleep rough
dreaming 'bout the next life
children are beaten
and women get raped
you win if you're cheating
you lose if you're straight
nature is ailing
our well's running dry
the leaders are wailing
the holy men cry
the gangsters stand tall
and the good men are down
I still hear the call
but I must be a clown
refr.
1995. Track 9 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music) Eén van de laatste rockteksten die ik schreef. Hem lezen is begrijpen waarom.
and heroin rules
no one gives a fig
and the dying child drools
you see friends and lovers
at each other's throats
and the girl on the cover
is in stolen clothes
writers persecuted
and artists shot down
the protest is muted
the hit man's in town
pictures of the worm in the apple
your heart stops and starts
as it grapples
with the notion of the worm getting bigger
and you feel your worst fears being triggered
by pictures of the worm
don't they make you squirm ?
pictures of the worm in the apple
the government's helpless
while hunger and AIDS
destroy our defences
with savaging raids
corruption and crime
extortion and hate
and we're praying for time
but we're leaving it late
the movies sell blood
and violence is rife
while preachers sleep rough
dreaming 'bout the next life
children are beaten
and women get raped
you win if you're cheating
you lose if you're straight
nature is ailing
our well's running dry
the leaders are wailing
the holy men cry
the gangsters stand tall
and the good men are down
I still hear the call
but I must be a clown
refr.
1995. Track 9 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music) Eén van de laatste rockteksten die ik schreef. Hem lezen is begrijpen waarom.
Fabled table
If looks could stroke and each cost money
onlookers would go broke
when you're around them honey
if looks could kill and you were more careless
then yours would kill at will
which sure would make'em stare less
eyes meeting 'cross the table
in a drunken fable
and I'm no longer able
to leave your fabled table
If looks could buy attention and a share
of time in someone's life
I'd stare with so much care
if looks could talk but then I'm sure they do
you must know I can't
walk away and out on you
refr.
I'm tied with cords and cables
to your fabled table
1990. Track 7 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
onlookers would go broke
when you're around them honey
if looks could kill and you were more careless
then yours would kill at will
which sure would make'em stare less
eyes meeting 'cross the table
in a drunken fable
and I'm no longer able
to leave your fabled table
If looks could buy attention and a share
of time in someone's life
I'd stare with so much care
if looks could talk but then I'm sure they do
you must know I can't
walk away and out on you
refr.
I'm tied with cords and cables
to your fabled table
1990. Track 7 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
Alaska in your eyes
I know this country from before
I've been knocking on these doors
I know the women living here
they gave me love and hate and fear
they walked me through the summerfields
gauging the harvest they would yield
and overnight my hair turned white
like the Alaska in your eyes
only makes me wonder why
no one's ever tried defrosting
the Alaska in your eyes
shy as a sheep I crept around
discarding everything I found
'till I came upon your picture
made me feel how much I'd missed you
and all I want to do is sleep
forget the hills that were too steep
where overnight my hair turned white
like the Alaska in your eyes
refr.
but don't worry 'bout me
I will worry 'bout me
always barking up the wrong tree
1989. Track 6 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
I've been knocking on these doors
I know the women living here
they gave me love and hate and fear
they walked me through the summerfields
gauging the harvest they would yield
and overnight my hair turned white
like the Alaska in your eyes
only makes me wonder why
no one's ever tried defrosting
the Alaska in your eyes
shy as a sheep I crept around
discarding everything I found
'till I came upon your picture
made me feel how much I'd missed you
and all I want to do is sleep
forget the hills that were too steep
where overnight my hair turned white
like the Alaska in your eyes
refr.
but don't worry 'bout me
I will worry 'bout me
always barking up the wrong tree
1989. Track 6 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
Empty
All the writing on the wall
I don't need it at all
all the signs are crystal clear
and I know just why we're here
there's no secret in the cards
'cause we know now who we are
and this day goes on and on
nothing's come and nothing's gone
peace and plenty
when your heart is empty
nothing to add on
to the fear that's gone
peace and plenty
finally empty
there's no message in the stars
we need no telling where we are
at time's end we'll still stand out
that's what the end of pain's about
and if the earth is full of holes
we will render what we stole
we'll surrender all the yield
in the freedom that we feel
refr.
1993. Track 4 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
I don't need it at all
all the signs are crystal clear
and I know just why we're here
there's no secret in the cards
'cause we know now who we are
and this day goes on and on
nothing's come and nothing's gone
peace and plenty
when your heart is empty
nothing to add on
to the fear that's gone
peace and plenty
finally empty
there's no message in the stars
we need no telling where we are
at time's end we'll still stand out
that's what the end of pain's about
and if the earth is full of holes
we will render what we stole
we'll surrender all the yield
in the freedom that we feel
refr.
1993. Track 4 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
In Jane's room
It's hard to get a hold
on your imagination
there's too much frustration
when your soul is full of holes
yes you're going to pieces
with your nephews and your nieces
when your soul is full of holes
Every time I was told
to get a grip on myself
take my heart off the shelf
but my soul was full of holes
yes I'm going insane
looking for someone to blame
'cause my soul is full of holes
just description no prescription
no medicine or cure
for lust and its lure
desire and its fire
in Jane's room
but all sadness is eroded
all mindgames are exploded
in Jane's room
eyes shining bright
at one with the light
in Jane's room
I'm cast in the wrong mould
tho' the world is beautiful
and sweet love is plentiful
but my soul is full of holes
yes I'm going to pieces
with your nephews and your nieces
when your soul is full of holes
I've blown hot and cold
been to heaven and to hell
but I never got to sell
my soul shot full of holes
yes I'm going insane
looking for someone to blame
'cause my soul if full of holes
refr.
1994. Skt. Peter (Hochschwarzwald) Track 3 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
on your imagination
there's too much frustration
when your soul is full of holes
yes you're going to pieces
with your nephews and your nieces
when your soul is full of holes
Every time I was told
to get a grip on myself
take my heart off the shelf
but my soul was full of holes
yes I'm going insane
looking for someone to blame
'cause my soul is full of holes
just description no prescription
no medicine or cure
for lust and its lure
desire and its fire
in Jane's room
but all sadness is eroded
all mindgames are exploded
in Jane's room
eyes shining bright
at one with the light
in Jane's room
I'm cast in the wrong mould
tho' the world is beautiful
and sweet love is plentiful
but my soul is full of holes
yes I'm going to pieces
with your nephews and your nieces
when your soul is full of holes
I've blown hot and cold
been to heaven and to hell
but I never got to sell
my soul shot full of holes
yes I'm going insane
looking for someone to blame
'cause my soul if full of holes
refr.
1994. Skt. Peter (Hochschwarzwald) Track 3 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
Bounce
All things said to cure the sadness
only make you feel it more
all the crying and the weeping
only make your eyelids sore
all the men and all the women
lead each other a fine dance
all their games and all their scheming
is their betting on the chance
that their love will make the world go 'round
and if it don't it sure makes sure
that their beds will bounce and bounce
all things said to stave off madness
often serve to bring it on
all the wishing and the hoping
only grate when she is gone
all the men and all the women
lead each other a fine dance
all their games and all their scheming
is their betting on the chance
refr.
and if your option's being drunk
your weight just goes up ounce by ounce
how's that for making your bed bounce ?
1989. Track 1 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
only make you feel it more
all the crying and the weeping
only make your eyelids sore
all the men and all the women
lead each other a fine dance
all their games and all their scheming
is their betting on the chance
that their love will make the world go 'round
and if it don't it sure makes sure
that their beds will bounce and bounce
all things said to stave off madness
often serve to bring it on
all the wishing and the hoping
only grate when she is gone
all the men and all the women
lead each other a fine dance
all their games and all their scheming
is their betting on the chance
refr.
and if your option's being drunk
your weight just goes up ounce by ounce
how's that for making your bed bounce ?
1989. Track 1 van Ludo Mariman's CD Milk and Spices, 1995 (CNR Music)
dinsdag 22 maart 2011
Acts and facts
It's five in the morning
you'll meet nothing but the losers
men and women who will tell
you who's his and who's hers
but there's always somewhere else
and some brandy, beer or coffee
will surely change their minds
and make them come home with me
Strange pleasures
can't be made to measure
but must be taken at your leasure
oh to be caught
but you never thought
you could be caught
in the act and that's a fact
no one sends out warnings
they ain't written on their faces
you might get sick or you could die
frequenting the odd wrong place
some are on drugs, some wasted
by those sad things you've read about
don't it make you wonder and
don't it make you want to shout
refr.
early 1986
you'll meet nothing but the losers
men and women who will tell
you who's his and who's hers
but there's always somewhere else
and some brandy, beer or coffee
will surely change their minds
and make them come home with me
Strange pleasures
can't be made to measure
but must be taken at your leasure
oh to be caught
but you never thought
you could be caught
in the act and that's a fact
no one sends out warnings
they ain't written on their faces
you might get sick or you could die
frequenting the odd wrong place
some are on drugs, some wasted
by those sad things you've read about
don't it make you wonder and
don't it make you want to shout
refr.
early 1986
Nothing moves
Nights heavy with
clouds of unknowing
days dragging
with the cracks showing
holes and fissures in the hope
of the feeling you can cope
with time eternally
changing infernally
your life right here
this strife right here
nothing moves
wisdom proves
nothing moves
knowledge proves
nothing moves
dreams weary of
longing for release
fantasy that
soars but it's a tease
with images so tender
it's just a crime to tell her
of time etc.
we are low and
then do what we do
we go or stay
it's time moving through
our bodies stuck in one place
we're only a whimper in space
early 1986
clouds of unknowing
days dragging
with the cracks showing
holes and fissures in the hope
of the feeling you can cope
with time eternally
changing infernally
your life right here
this strife right here
nothing moves
wisdom proves
nothing moves
knowledge proves
nothing moves
dreams weary of
longing for release
fantasy that
soars but it's a tease
with images so tender
it's just a crime to tell her
of time etc.
we are low and
then do what we do
we go or stay
it's time moving through
our bodies stuck in one place
we're only a whimper in space
early 1986
maandag 21 maart 2011
Nu alleen
Met vreesachtige billen
een bed besluipen
en breedvoerig dromen
van onmacht en amechtigheid
de steen van het verleden slijpen
uit het slijk der wijzen
dat de stem der aarde niet verstikt
nu jij een vrouw alleen bent
die zenuwtrek en rimpel
als fantasieën opbouwt naast
spoorwegstations met trage treinen.
november 1985
een bed besluipen
en breedvoerig dromen
van onmacht en amechtigheid
de steen van het verleden slijpen
uit het slijk der wijzen
dat de stem der aarde niet verstikt
nu jij een vrouw alleen bent
die zenuwtrek en rimpel
als fantasieën opbouwt naast
spoorwegstations met trage treinen.
november 1985
Uitgaansleven
Dat lachen, als affiches
die grappen, als van presentators
van goedkope platte shows
quiz: vraag en antwoord
- waar kan ik mijn penis planten,
en wie vult mijn vagina ?
Dàt is het aan de toog
maar er hoort diplomatie bij
concentratie, zesde wereldlanden
reiken elkaar reukloze handen
en besluiten; wij vinden hier vanavond
elkaar en morgen zien wij wel
wie of wat die maskers waren
die even de schaamte doen vervagen
die alles oplossen in nachten
voorbijgaand zonder antwoord zonder vraag
in het steekspel van de passie
die zo naakt voorbijgaan
schrijnend, balsemend de tijd
die zonder einde of begin is.
November 1985
die grappen, als van presentators
van goedkope platte shows
quiz: vraag en antwoord
- waar kan ik mijn penis planten,
en wie vult mijn vagina ?
Dàt is het aan de toog
maar er hoort diplomatie bij
concentratie, zesde wereldlanden
reiken elkaar reukloze handen
en besluiten; wij vinden hier vanavond
elkaar en morgen zien wij wel
wie of wat die maskers waren
die even de schaamte doen vervagen
die alles oplossen in nachten
voorbijgaand zonder antwoord zonder vraag
in het steekspel van de passie
die zo naakt voorbijgaan
schrijnend, balsemend de tijd
die zonder einde of begin is.
November 1985
Kyoto nog
Als ik water ben en wij weten
ieder is dat voor tachtig procent
dan heeft een vreemd land
zijn anker in mijn hart geperst
en ik ben hopeloos verknocht
aan één van de steden daar.
De tuinen vol precisie
en het oppervlakkige nachtleven
leeg, beleefd en stijlvol zinloos
hebben mij gekluisterd
en als kikvorsmannen opgevist
uit mijn diepte en het lis
dat mijn leven ééns omschreef.
En nu keer ik altijd weer
ga ik immer terug
zonder bedoeling, zonder wens
maar met eindeloos verlangen
naar die ogenblikken
zonder mededogen
zonder eind.
oct. 1985
ieder is dat voor tachtig procent
dan heeft een vreemd land
zijn anker in mijn hart geperst
en ik ben hopeloos verknocht
aan één van de steden daar.
De tuinen vol precisie
en het oppervlakkige nachtleven
leeg, beleefd en stijlvol zinloos
hebben mij gekluisterd
en als kikvorsmannen opgevist
uit mijn diepte en het lis
dat mijn leven ééns omschreef.
En nu keer ik altijd weer
ga ik immer terug
zonder bedoeling, zonder wens
maar met eindeloos verlangen
naar die ogenblikken
zonder mededogen
zonder eind.
oct. 1985
Schoonheid
In een vliegtuig tussen werelddelen
wil ik de wereld aan stukken rijten
en hem herleiden tot het beeld van
Brigitte Bardot, Claudia Cardinale
- ik ken de nieuwe starlets niet -
of tot een man die waarlijk vrouwen eert.
Wij spiegelen ons aan schoonheid
in woestenijen van strijd
wij willen vrijheid strelen
in het dwangbuis van ons leven
en drinken, roken is een pleister
op het houten been van wat wij doen.
Ik wil sterven, elk moment
bezeten van die droom
- nu dit vliegtuig dreigt uiteen te spatten -
alles overgave
aan die schoonheid
oct. 1985
wil ik de wereld aan stukken rijten
en hem herleiden tot het beeld van
Brigitte Bardot, Claudia Cardinale
- ik ken de nieuwe starlets niet -
of tot een man die waarlijk vrouwen eert.
Wij spiegelen ons aan schoonheid
in woestenijen van strijd
wij willen vrijheid strelen
in het dwangbuis van ons leven
en drinken, roken is een pleister
op het houten been van wat wij doen.
Ik wil sterven, elk moment
bezeten van die droom
- nu dit vliegtuig dreigt uiteen te spatten -
alles overgave
aan die schoonheid
oct. 1985
Sayuri
In hostessclubs nemen ze je asbak weg nog voor je er naar gekeken hebt en je krijgt er een nieuwe die nog iets netter opgeblonken is. Ze geven je ook hapjes die een muis net aankan. Je krijgt er warme lucht en koude whiskey en hakkelt in een Japans waarvan zij kirrend zeggen dat het zo "josu" (welbespraakt, goed) is maar waarom krijg je dan echt niets gezegd van al wat je wou zeggen ? En waarom weten zij niets te zeggen in de 50 woorden die jij meester bent ? Daarover spreken wij niet; en wat een marteling voor die hostessen wiens plicht het is het jou ten allen prijze naar de zin te maken terwijl ze zien dat het er toch niet in zit. Pijnlijk. Dus als je naar je sigaretten loenst zitten er al drie vrouwen klaar met hun aanstekers en kan er toch nog gelachen worden. Je doet een slok van je whiskey of bier en prompt wordt er bijgevuld zodat je eigenlijk nooit weet hoeveel je nu eigenlijk gedronken hebt. Dat zorgt ook voor creatieve eindafrekeningen bij je vertrek. En de minuten gaan voorbij, maar traag. Alles gewikkeld in superbeschaafde omgangsvormen met allerlei beleefdheidslagen waarvan de helft je ontgaan maar je weet dat ze er zijn. Een haast ondraaglijke beleefdheid en dienstbaarheid die god weet wat verbergt. Soms vraag je je af of zij het zelfs echt vervelend vinden. Dat kom je niet te weten. In zo'n club zit je in feite beter alleen met drank en eten, dan kan je kijken hoe ZIJ het doen. Dit uitgaansleven, jij kan daar niet echt deel van zijn als observator. Toch viel zo ééns mijn blik op een beeldschone hostess die Sayuri heette en die zelf blijkbaar ook wel wat in mij zag. Ik kreeg zelfs haar privé-nummer en wij voerden eindeloze haperende aftastende gesprekken waarbij het duidelijk was dat het management van de club niet happig was om hun sterren intiem te zien worden met de klanten, zeker niet als ze buitenlanders waren. Ze wou wel, ze kon niet, ze zou wel, ze kwam niet, ze hoopte dat ...maar vreesde... ze dacht dat ik dacht en en en maar haar stem was altijd even diep en sexy en en en, ach je kent dat. En dan was mijn verlof voorbij en kon ik alleen haar mooie naam meenemen. Sayuri.
oct. 1985
oct. 1985
Kyoto nog eens
Een oude hoofdstad
van een gloednieuw land
dat toch zijn jaren niet kan tellen
hoewel zij hier stokstijf te boek staan.
Papieren lantarens vol bijgeloof
- of is het hoop die daar nog glanst ? -
en bliksems van neonlicht
in een rivier die eens de grens was
bij de heuvels in het oosten.
Hier was ik en ben ik,
hier keer ik steeds terug,
zoekend naar niets dan vriendschap
geld soms ook en de afstand
van wat mij alle dagen toevalt
in het land dat eens van mij was
voor ik hierheen kwam zonder doel.
Oct. 1985. Kyoto. Het zou helaas mijn laatste bezoek worden.
van een gloednieuw land
dat toch zijn jaren niet kan tellen
hoewel zij hier stokstijf te boek staan.
Papieren lantarens vol bijgeloof
- of is het hoop die daar nog glanst ? -
en bliksems van neonlicht
in een rivier die eens de grens was
bij de heuvels in het oosten.
Hier was ik en ben ik,
hier keer ik steeds terug,
zoekend naar niets dan vriendschap
geld soms ook en de afstand
van wat mij alle dagen toevalt
in het land dat eens van mij was
voor ik hierheen kwam zonder doel.
Oct. 1985. Kyoto. Het zou helaas mijn laatste bezoek worden.
dinsdag 15 maart 2011
Take it to heart
Apart from the fact
that her eyes were veiled with pride
and I caught her in the act
she had next to nothing to hide
oh she was bullion
and I was a stallion
put to pasture way past her
Take it to heart
the part you play
is you and only you today
Regarding the fact
of being here and only here
we must just rely on tact
and look beyond the groundless fear
of being blackballed
every feeling stalled
put to pasture way past her
refr.
1988. Track 12 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
that her eyes were veiled with pride
and I caught her in the act
she had next to nothing to hide
oh she was bullion
and I was a stallion
put to pasture way past her
Take it to heart
the part you play
is you and only you today
Regarding the fact
of being here and only here
we must just rely on tact
and look beyond the groundless fear
of being blackballed
every feeling stalled
put to pasture way past her
refr.
1988. Track 12 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Things are just so
And of course the times are evil
and all youth has gone astray
our morality's a morass
you can see it everyday
but the flower wouldn't grow
and no diamond would get out
yes the flower wouldn't grow
if things weren't so
yes things are just so
give me peace but not too much
'cause I'm so used to the pain
I would run but very soon
I'd start suffering again
refr.
And of course I'm full of anger
petty jealousy and hate
they live side by side with loving
makes it so hard to feel straight
refr.
watch the bloodshed on TV
listen to the radio
spokesmen mouth hypocrisy
while your mind just comes and goes
1993. Track 11 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
and all youth has gone astray
our morality's a morass
you can see it everyday
but the flower wouldn't grow
and no diamond would get out
yes the flower wouldn't grow
if things weren't so
yes things are just so
give me peace but not too much
'cause I'm so used to the pain
I would run but very soon
I'd start suffering again
refr.
And of course I'm full of anger
petty jealousy and hate
they live side by side with loving
makes it so hard to feel straight
refr.
watch the bloodshed on TV
listen to the radio
spokesmen mouth hypocrisy
while your mind just comes and goes
1993. Track 11 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Cheap booze blues
Stumbling down the sidewalk
I can hardly see
wond'ring can I still talk
wond'ring am I me
drinking moonshine whiskey
crying in my beer
people say it's risky
but I've got no fear
baby you gotta know
I've got the cheap booze blues
oh you know what I mean
I've got the cheap booze blues (2x)
dancing in the darkness
hardly know my name
everybody's heartless
but it's all the same
I've been rich and poor girl
never stopped to think
I've looked at the whole world
while I tood my drink
refr.
1993. Track 10 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
I can hardly see
wond'ring can I still talk
wond'ring am I me
drinking moonshine whiskey
crying in my beer
people say it's risky
but I've got no fear
baby you gotta know
I've got the cheap booze blues
oh you know what I mean
I've got the cheap booze blues (2x)
dancing in the darkness
hardly know my name
everybody's heartless
but it's all the same
I've been rich and poor girl
never stopped to think
I've looked at the whole world
while I tood my drink
refr.
1993. Track 10 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Dissembling at the wedding
The aunts and uncles kissed
with only their fat cheeks touching
lipstick leaves these marks and
you and me we don't see much in
gold-rimmed spectacles over
well-cut expensive dresses and
beards kept in perfect trim
nobody will make a mess in
traces of passion
or anything resembling it
after a fashion
we're just bent on dissembling it
designer shirts wide open
to reveal gold chains on the lawn
of chest-hair heaving hoping
for stolen kisses in the dawn
traces of passion
or anything resembling it
after a fashion
there's no dissembling it
the bride looked halfway bright
in her gown of chinese silk that
tried but failed to steal the light
of stars that beat the charms she had
refr.
1988. Track 9 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
with only their fat cheeks touching
lipstick leaves these marks and
you and me we don't see much in
gold-rimmed spectacles over
well-cut expensive dresses and
beards kept in perfect trim
nobody will make a mess in
traces of passion
or anything resembling it
after a fashion
we're just bent on dissembling it
designer shirts wide open
to reveal gold chains on the lawn
of chest-hair heaving hoping
for stolen kisses in the dawn
traces of passion
or anything resembling it
after a fashion
there's no dissembling it
the bride looked halfway bright
in her gown of chinese silk that
tried but failed to steal the light
of stars that beat the charms she had
refr.
1988. Track 9 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Shout
Try little sister
and change your style
go be a woman in your own right
the earth's a spinning planet
that always turns
it's not a funeral urn
you make me wanna shout
why can't you just go your own way !
Time is calling
and the days don't care
if your life is hard
or if there's sunshine there
the clock won't stop
because you laugh or cry
and I still wonder why
refr.
money and clothes
hey mud in your eye
I need love
and not another glib lie
I don't like the autumn
it gives me bad dreams
so stop making these scenes
refr.
1987. Track 8 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
and change your style
go be a woman in your own right
the earth's a spinning planet
that always turns
it's not a funeral urn
you make me wanna shout
why can't you just go your own way !
Time is calling
and the days don't care
if your life is hard
or if there's sunshine there
the clock won't stop
because you laugh or cry
and I still wonder why
refr.
money and clothes
hey mud in your eye
I need love
and not another glib lie
I don't like the autumn
it gives me bad dreams
so stop making these scenes
refr.
1987. Track 8 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Signal yes
Oh I dreamt I was a cowboy
talking business with a horse
while you were nothing but a tomboy
letting things just run their course
I wonder was I a romantic
to live in someone else's hell
or is the question too pedantic
while all I wanna do is yell
oh I wish for you to teach me less
and to love me more
for your eyes to signal yes
my heart will be your door
didn't you guess ?
that's what it's for !
Did you have to call me sinner
when I couldn't see things through
when I couldn't be the winner
there to buy the earth for you
did you have to get so frantic
knickers twisted, eyes all red
from staring at the sad semantics
silly games inside our heads
refr.
1993. Track 7 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
talking business with a horse
while you were nothing but a tomboy
letting things just run their course
I wonder was I a romantic
to live in someone else's hell
or is the question too pedantic
while all I wanna do is yell
oh I wish for you to teach me less
and to love me more
for your eyes to signal yes
my heart will be your door
didn't you guess ?
that's what it's for !
Did you have to call me sinner
when I couldn't see things through
when I couldn't be the winner
there to buy the earth for you
did you have to get so frantic
knickers twisted, eyes all red
from staring at the sad semantics
silly games inside our heads
refr.
1993. Track 7 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Where the rivers meet
She doesn't go for war
she says we're worth much more
she goes for tenderness
and will not settle for less
she is free as free can be
just like the sixties on TV
I was on sleazy street
but that's over
I got sober
I woke up indeed
where the rivers meet
bathing herself in milk
I stroke her like she's silk
she goes for honesty
'cause that all her eyes can see
she is free as free can be
just like the sixties on TV
refr.
She goes and takes my hand
by castles in the sand
her body seems to sing
all the songs of everything
she is free as free can be
just like the sixties on TV
refr.
1991. Track 6 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
she says we're worth much more
she goes for tenderness
and will not settle for less
she is free as free can be
just like the sixties on TV
I was on sleazy street
but that's over
I got sober
I woke up indeed
where the rivers meet
bathing herself in milk
I stroke her like she's silk
she goes for honesty
'cause that all her eyes can see
she is free as free can be
just like the sixties on TV
refr.
She goes and takes my hand
by castles in the sand
her body seems to sing
all the songs of everything
she is free as free can be
just like the sixties on TV
refr.
1991. Track 6 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
Just heartbeats apart
Cry baby cry, being so denied
in the darkness way beyond the light
weep daddy weep, for you didn't keep
up your climbing hills that were too steep
regret and redemption
just heart beats apart
joy and frustration
just heartbeats apart
truth and temptation
just heartbeats apart
daddy and daughter
just heartbeats apart
sigh baby sigh, promises were lies
in the darkness of somebody's pride
groan daddy groan, life is not on loan
or in hiding in a foreign home
refr.
the meek shall inherit the earth
only they know what it's worth
all the joy and all the hurt
1988. Track 5 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
in the darkness way beyond the light
weep daddy weep, for you didn't keep
up your climbing hills that were too steep
regret and redemption
just heart beats apart
joy and frustration
just heartbeats apart
truth and temptation
just heartbeats apart
daddy and daughter
just heartbeats apart
sigh baby sigh, promises were lies
in the darkness of somebody's pride
groan daddy groan, life is not on loan
or in hiding in a foreign home
refr.
the meek shall inherit the earth
only they know what it's worth
all the joy and all the hurt
1988. Track 5 van Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993
dinsdag 8 maart 2011
Amateur philosophy
No value judgment can be made. That is, not in an absolute sense. In a relative sense, yes; one should not run naked in a blizzard as the resulting pneumonia would be a negative value, but this is plain common sense on the anecdotical level. The value judgement refered to above is not concerned with the anecdotical level.
Everything has to be accepted at face value. Would this lead to superficiality ? Not necessarily, even when looking beyond surfaces, into more intrinsically meaningful levels of reality, what one apprehends has to be accepted at face value, because when, having stepped outside the confines of dogma, religion or party politics and their usual yardsticks, one has to accept the lack of anything to judge by, so what is left is "face value", the countenance of chaos, the mien of the universe.
The ripple on the face of the universal sea is fear, "angst". And this angst is the prime motivator of human endeavour, the lever of history and the cornerstone of religions, philosophical systems and what have you.
I must surmise that this fear, this primordial angst stood at the craddle of language itself. Imagine primitive man in his earliest settlements or caves or even trees. No longer part of the animal kingdom with its unquestioning acceptance of nature, of its environment. The fear of animals being of a more immediate nature; this beast is bigger than me, I fear it, I appease it by a submissive posture, or I fight it. Either way, fear will resolve itself by defeat or victory or compromise, then it will vanish until another, unconnected fear-inspiring situation arises. Existential angst does not exist in the animal kingdom. Animals feel at home here, a feat seldom accomplished by humans. This fear is what divides us from animals and what made us make the attempt to become what we are (whatever that is, or will be). So picture the earliest humans confronted with majectic, unaccountable, fickle, intimidating nature with all its bewildering phenomena. They must have been stunned by the inexplicable, the dark, the wet, the cold, with no names to conjure up understanding and a certain mastery, the earliest magic being the naming of things and thus mentally mastering them, constraining them in terms defined by the "namer", who thus gains ascendancy and real or imagined power, or at least a certain understanding of the "named".
I can see men and women of that time huddling together and croaking the first coherent sounds at each other in order to overcome the fear by communicating some of it and thus relieving the pressure. Very soon after of course, language, once invented, must have been applied to practical matters such as cries to coordinate the hunt etcetera but I feel that it was fear that made us talk, fear that started our verbal interaction. Fear and the inner turmoil it produces which in turn produces new fear, a spiral that must have become such a powerful pressure crying for relief that the verbal scream that issued from it sounds to me like the initial form of mankind's communication. Once uttered, once humans found each other in this now shared basic experience, together they could start inventing anf fashioning the rituals aimed at mastering and transforming their angst, they could start out on the road to mutual assistance, the way of gradual growth into primitive societies and from there, at least for some of them, into the first forms of civilisation.
So here's this vision of primitive humanity confronted with incomprehensible nature, with the chaos of the universe. This makes for fear and fear produces language which is then applied to the formalities of the first and most basic systems of religion and thought.
So I am compelled to look on religions and philosophies as systems of thought brought into being with the aim of exorcising fear, by prescribing ways (ritual, reasoning) to help minds gain ascendency over the turmoil that's at the root of their activity. All these systems function as barricades against chaos, the stuff the universe consists of. This is a natural process, however, the means always seem to have a way of becoming the end. So, self-perpetuating as they are, all these systems became power-structures, and, naturally, they tended to turn their followers into slaves. So these slaves, once cowering in the primordial fear, are now on their knees in front of the thinkers, priests and so on that once held out the promise of freedom from fear.
Now, who creates religions, philosophies, world-views ? Are they people out to manipulate, to dominate, to enslave ? I guess sometimes they are, still it seems obvious that in most instances we are thinking of inspired men and women, people of genius, poets, indomitable creators adrift on waves of insight and, possibly, full of love for all of humanity. They set out to unify, to lighten the burden of existence, and in just about all cases their message, their call is a positive one. And this, in the rather frightening epic of humanity, is the only hope, the diamond to be rediscovered again and again, to be cherished and treasured. What I'm alluding to is the fact that great masses of humanity can only be stirred or mobilized with mainly positive slogans, with positive programs and perspectives. If one takes a closer look at all the great religions and philosophies one will notice that each and every one of them can be summarized in a few lines. These will nearly always have a positive content, most of them will run along the lines of: all mankind is one, love one another, equal rights, unity can be achieved and so on. So here we have our one pole; theory. Theory is almost exclusively positive, it always promises the best for all of us, it forever will project the possibility of unity and peace (even if it takes a couple of wars to get there but even so). And that is the bottom-line, that is the call humanity will rise to, the watchword that quickens a seed in our hearts the world over and in all ages. Consider Christ, Marx, Buddha. When they first preached, wrote or acted upon their intuitions, there was no such thing as christianity, marxism of buddhism. There were just these thoughts, these, in the final analysis, simple messages of hope, these solutions, these intuitions, these possible courses of action humanity could take in order to reach a safer and more wholesome haven. At this point, the terrible and dreadfully hierarchical systems of christianity, marxism and buddhism were undreamed of, inconceived and dormant. And people respond, at first in small numbers, idealistically. The positive appeal, the wholesome theory stirs their hearts and minds and they set about making it real. How can this be done ? How does this happen ? By practice. And here human nature reasserts itself, saying "this is all very well, but what about number one ?" So organisation and hierarchy come into being. The practice differs widely from the theory. At this point, no real religion or political system has come into being yet. It is in its period of gestation. It slowly takes shape and we find ourselves confronted with its infancy, its tentative first strides and as time passes, so does theory pass into practice and we can discern that this is when negativity sets in, reality rears its ugly head. As sure as the sun rises, theory must be practiced, and as people have so far found no other means except power and coercion to practice what they preach ( and then some), slowly but surely a tension develops between the two poles of positive theory and negative practice, and it is precisely here, in this field of tension that the great and small religions and philosophical systems that now and in former times hold and held sway, come into being (let me just make time for a little aside here; a world religion is basically nothing but a once small sect that simply succeeded and became too big for its boots) The well-nigh intolerable tension between positive theory and negative practice calls up the spectres of organized religions (functioning along the same lines as organized crime) and systems of thought like communism etcetera that are the bane of the hearts and minds of people everywhere. All kinds of ways are invented to appease the untenable paradox that must exist between ideal theories and fallible practices. These ways are the rituals of religion, the "party line" etc. How does this work ? Let's look at the theory and practice of some of the major systems that have been paramount in shaping the world we inhabit today. Of course it would be somewhat futile to delve into too many intricate details here because the whole thing is so palpably obvious. Take christianity and its basic doctrine expressed in the sermon on the mount where the message is perhaps enunciated in the clearest possible way; it's love, brotherhood. A few terribly appealing concepts that were the motivating force, together of course with the emancipating implications that set at first small bands, and later infinite numbers of people, on the course that led ultimately to the institution of christianity. The original tenets left lots of room for interpretation, and that is exactly what they got. Slowly a "church" comes into being and the whole machinery of power follows naturally and in a few centuries this has become a political institution wielding dreadful powers that crush all differing insights. So on the whole, practice largely defeats theory and it is definitely kicking in an open door to state that precious few christians today do implement the basic principles their religion was founded on. The tension this causes, when not completely repressed by years of just going through the motions, is appeased by a number of technicalities like sacraments etc. and the result is a colossus nearly impossible to dislodge.
This mechanism is at work in all established religions and if we take a closer look at Russia it is not so difficult to see that the communist party fulfills the same function with the same results. A communist manifesto as the starting point, promising a more even distribution of material goods and opportunities in life. So once again, the positive call with, on the sublininal level, the promise of universal brotherhood and peace after the natural petering out of capitalism. All that resulting today in another system of oppression only marginally improving on the czarist one that is still a curse on the people's natural desire for the brotherhood and equality originally promised. So always this positive call, necessary to motivate people in great numbers, deteriorating into practices cruelly defeating the original intention. Some people might point to the rise of Hitler as a possible refutation of the thesis. They would get out their copy of Mein Kampf with its anti-semitic ranting and raving and ask, where's the positive call here ? Well, firstly, the great mass of people don't even read books as voluminous and poorly written as Mein Kampf, and, secondly, in the campaign for the late 1933 German elections that brought Hitler to power, he hardly even mentioned the anti-semitic theme, in fact it was rather played down at that time just because of the fact that to find a majority for atrocities of the magnitude later commited is just about impossible anywhere on earth. The actual commiting of them is the lesser problem, it is in many ways the leitmotiv of history, but one doesn't come to power with a platform advertizing them.
Now take buddhism, a creed with a rather different slant on life from christianity. But still there is the promise of release from samsara, the endless cycle of death and rebirth, another appealing notion. Buddhism established itself in India but was relatively soon driven out though not before its missionaries had established bridgeheads in many parts of Asia where subsequently the belief and ritual (this last being a quite foreign notion to the historical Buddha I guess) were, by dint of the respective native peoples' genius, transformed and brought to various forms of fruition. Japan fashioning it into the rarified essence of zen on one end of the scale, and the Tibetans on the other end cluttering it up with a veritable barrage of ritual, superstition, magic and also mystical practices that must have been far removed from the historical Buddha's intentions. Let's take Tibet's case where buddhism, like christendom in feudal medieval Europe, realized the ultimate aim of all organized religion, i.e. the unification of the temporal and spiritual power. This, looked at from the point of view of religion is actually quite logical. One could even state that in the light of the idea of the tension between theory and practice, it comes down to a somewhat twisted way of adhering to the theory without giving up the malpractice. Indeed, the aim of organized religion cannot be any other than theocracy. The original aim of the founders of religions, seeing they are often emancipators, cannot be other than the opposite of theocracy. The aim of Karl Marx on the other hand was the emancipation of the working class, and today that means broadly speaking, just about everybody, but his way of achieving it was through dictatorship of the proletariat, which is tantamount to theocracy on a different plane. So on the practical level, where all these nice aims are to be implemented, what we see is usually a self-defeating (in the light of the theory) way of coping with circumstances. Still in some (and possibly more than one might think at first sight) of the systems of thought there is a tendency to cope with the great paradox of theory and practice. One example will suffice to illustrate this. In Tibetan buddhism, which is an incredibly elaborate edifice of thought and speculation, there is a concept that kind of refutes all that is typical of its philosophical spawning ground. Here one must take note of the specific nature of the Tibetan religion in which everything revolves around ritual, mantras, visualisations, purifications and offerings to hundreds of deities, many of them incorporated from the indigenous animistic Bön-religion, which was partly ousted and partly coöpted when buddhism was introduced to the Himalayan country. In this environment, teeming with the technicalities of organized religion and completely saturated with every imaginable hierarchical tool of thought there exists the concept of a mental attainment which is called the state of "kuzulu". Now, a kuzulu, is "one who eats, sleeps and shits"; in other words, this concept conceives of a person who does not pray, fast, count his beads, turn prayerwheels, treasure amulets, do pilgrimages, seek blessings from so-called incarnated lama's, recite half-incomprehensible sutras in a garbled mixture of Sanskrit and Tibetan etcetera. One who is beyond all that and just IS. Beyond the paradox of theory and practice, power structure and the tyranny of hierarchy. A great achievement that, whether realised or unrealised, but how can one come to it ? Through the whole rigmarole of ritual etcetera, or the party discipline etcetera ? Can one get there by some sort of miracle ? I don't know but it is THE question and I fear that the transformation of the question into the answer, seeing that both are often, when looked at very closely, mutually interchangeable, is the key that was lost. Let's see how difficult this can be and take as our example the widely acclaimed and extremely popular but probably fictitious tales Carlos Casteneda and his bucolic Indian lodestar Don Juan. After a lot of trials the latter explains to Carlos that he teaches him by continuously playing tricks on him. Now, of course, a trick can only work its effect if one hasn't seen it performed before. So Carlos can only be taught as he's not aware of the fact he's being tricked. Now transpose this argument to the "trick" of religions etcetera, of appeasing the two poles of positive theory and negative practice and some sort of circle is completed. It is not a comforting thought and probable at this point I should come forth with some simplistic rallying cry along the lines of those some of the so-called "new" religions victimize their aspiring followers with. Usually that goes something like this: all present-day religion is perverted and all politics is bunk, but never fear, because God, my conscience or whatever, inspired me to lead all you slobs to the light. Now if you just give me all your affection, love and most importantly, money and other possessions, and put your time and skills at my disposal, I'll make everything come out right and you'll be happy ever after. It sounds completely incredible but that is exactly the line thousands, if not millions ofpeople are falling for nowadays, and this in the more affluent societies. This is the kind of criminality, in religion and in politics, that teems wildly and seemingly cannot be rooted out.
February 1983, Mortsel - Kyoto; I can't imagine why I wrote this stuff or where it came from. It just gushed out but in the end it doesn't really seem to lead anywhere.
Everything has to be accepted at face value. Would this lead to superficiality ? Not necessarily, even when looking beyond surfaces, into more intrinsically meaningful levels of reality, what one apprehends has to be accepted at face value, because when, having stepped outside the confines of dogma, religion or party politics and their usual yardsticks, one has to accept the lack of anything to judge by, so what is left is "face value", the countenance of chaos, the mien of the universe.
The ripple on the face of the universal sea is fear, "angst". And this angst is the prime motivator of human endeavour, the lever of history and the cornerstone of religions, philosophical systems and what have you.
I must surmise that this fear, this primordial angst stood at the craddle of language itself. Imagine primitive man in his earliest settlements or caves or even trees. No longer part of the animal kingdom with its unquestioning acceptance of nature, of its environment. The fear of animals being of a more immediate nature; this beast is bigger than me, I fear it, I appease it by a submissive posture, or I fight it. Either way, fear will resolve itself by defeat or victory or compromise, then it will vanish until another, unconnected fear-inspiring situation arises. Existential angst does not exist in the animal kingdom. Animals feel at home here, a feat seldom accomplished by humans. This fear is what divides us from animals and what made us make the attempt to become what we are (whatever that is, or will be). So picture the earliest humans confronted with majectic, unaccountable, fickle, intimidating nature with all its bewildering phenomena. They must have been stunned by the inexplicable, the dark, the wet, the cold, with no names to conjure up understanding and a certain mastery, the earliest magic being the naming of things and thus mentally mastering them, constraining them in terms defined by the "namer", who thus gains ascendancy and real or imagined power, or at least a certain understanding of the "named".
I can see men and women of that time huddling together and croaking the first coherent sounds at each other in order to overcome the fear by communicating some of it and thus relieving the pressure. Very soon after of course, language, once invented, must have been applied to practical matters such as cries to coordinate the hunt etcetera but I feel that it was fear that made us talk, fear that started our verbal interaction. Fear and the inner turmoil it produces which in turn produces new fear, a spiral that must have become such a powerful pressure crying for relief that the verbal scream that issued from it sounds to me like the initial form of mankind's communication. Once uttered, once humans found each other in this now shared basic experience, together they could start inventing anf fashioning the rituals aimed at mastering and transforming their angst, they could start out on the road to mutual assistance, the way of gradual growth into primitive societies and from there, at least for some of them, into the first forms of civilisation.
So here's this vision of primitive humanity confronted with incomprehensible nature, with the chaos of the universe. This makes for fear and fear produces language which is then applied to the formalities of the first and most basic systems of religion and thought.
So I am compelled to look on religions and philosophies as systems of thought brought into being with the aim of exorcising fear, by prescribing ways (ritual, reasoning) to help minds gain ascendency over the turmoil that's at the root of their activity. All these systems function as barricades against chaos, the stuff the universe consists of. This is a natural process, however, the means always seem to have a way of becoming the end. So, self-perpetuating as they are, all these systems became power-structures, and, naturally, they tended to turn their followers into slaves. So these slaves, once cowering in the primordial fear, are now on their knees in front of the thinkers, priests and so on that once held out the promise of freedom from fear.
Now, who creates religions, philosophies, world-views ? Are they people out to manipulate, to dominate, to enslave ? I guess sometimes they are, still it seems obvious that in most instances we are thinking of inspired men and women, people of genius, poets, indomitable creators adrift on waves of insight and, possibly, full of love for all of humanity. They set out to unify, to lighten the burden of existence, and in just about all cases their message, their call is a positive one. And this, in the rather frightening epic of humanity, is the only hope, the diamond to be rediscovered again and again, to be cherished and treasured. What I'm alluding to is the fact that great masses of humanity can only be stirred or mobilized with mainly positive slogans, with positive programs and perspectives. If one takes a closer look at all the great religions and philosophies one will notice that each and every one of them can be summarized in a few lines. These will nearly always have a positive content, most of them will run along the lines of: all mankind is one, love one another, equal rights, unity can be achieved and so on. So here we have our one pole; theory. Theory is almost exclusively positive, it always promises the best for all of us, it forever will project the possibility of unity and peace (even if it takes a couple of wars to get there but even so). And that is the bottom-line, that is the call humanity will rise to, the watchword that quickens a seed in our hearts the world over and in all ages. Consider Christ, Marx, Buddha. When they first preached, wrote or acted upon their intuitions, there was no such thing as christianity, marxism of buddhism. There were just these thoughts, these, in the final analysis, simple messages of hope, these solutions, these intuitions, these possible courses of action humanity could take in order to reach a safer and more wholesome haven. At this point, the terrible and dreadfully hierarchical systems of christianity, marxism and buddhism were undreamed of, inconceived and dormant. And people respond, at first in small numbers, idealistically. The positive appeal, the wholesome theory stirs their hearts and minds and they set about making it real. How can this be done ? How does this happen ? By practice. And here human nature reasserts itself, saying "this is all very well, but what about number one ?" So organisation and hierarchy come into being. The practice differs widely from the theory. At this point, no real religion or political system has come into being yet. It is in its period of gestation. It slowly takes shape and we find ourselves confronted with its infancy, its tentative first strides and as time passes, so does theory pass into practice and we can discern that this is when negativity sets in, reality rears its ugly head. As sure as the sun rises, theory must be practiced, and as people have so far found no other means except power and coercion to practice what they preach ( and then some), slowly but surely a tension develops between the two poles of positive theory and negative practice, and it is precisely here, in this field of tension that the great and small religions and philosophical systems that now and in former times hold and held sway, come into being (let me just make time for a little aside here; a world religion is basically nothing but a once small sect that simply succeeded and became too big for its boots) The well-nigh intolerable tension between positive theory and negative practice calls up the spectres of organized religions (functioning along the same lines as organized crime) and systems of thought like communism etcetera that are the bane of the hearts and minds of people everywhere. All kinds of ways are invented to appease the untenable paradox that must exist between ideal theories and fallible practices. These ways are the rituals of religion, the "party line" etc. How does this work ? Let's look at the theory and practice of some of the major systems that have been paramount in shaping the world we inhabit today. Of course it would be somewhat futile to delve into too many intricate details here because the whole thing is so palpably obvious. Take christianity and its basic doctrine expressed in the sermon on the mount where the message is perhaps enunciated in the clearest possible way; it's love, brotherhood. A few terribly appealing concepts that were the motivating force, together of course with the emancipating implications that set at first small bands, and later infinite numbers of people, on the course that led ultimately to the institution of christianity. The original tenets left lots of room for interpretation, and that is exactly what they got. Slowly a "church" comes into being and the whole machinery of power follows naturally and in a few centuries this has become a political institution wielding dreadful powers that crush all differing insights. So on the whole, practice largely defeats theory and it is definitely kicking in an open door to state that precious few christians today do implement the basic principles their religion was founded on. The tension this causes, when not completely repressed by years of just going through the motions, is appeased by a number of technicalities like sacraments etc. and the result is a colossus nearly impossible to dislodge.
This mechanism is at work in all established religions and if we take a closer look at Russia it is not so difficult to see that the communist party fulfills the same function with the same results. A communist manifesto as the starting point, promising a more even distribution of material goods and opportunities in life. So once again, the positive call with, on the sublininal level, the promise of universal brotherhood and peace after the natural petering out of capitalism. All that resulting today in another system of oppression only marginally improving on the czarist one that is still a curse on the people's natural desire for the brotherhood and equality originally promised. So always this positive call, necessary to motivate people in great numbers, deteriorating into practices cruelly defeating the original intention. Some people might point to the rise of Hitler as a possible refutation of the thesis. They would get out their copy of Mein Kampf with its anti-semitic ranting and raving and ask, where's the positive call here ? Well, firstly, the great mass of people don't even read books as voluminous and poorly written as Mein Kampf, and, secondly, in the campaign for the late 1933 German elections that brought Hitler to power, he hardly even mentioned the anti-semitic theme, in fact it was rather played down at that time just because of the fact that to find a majority for atrocities of the magnitude later commited is just about impossible anywhere on earth. The actual commiting of them is the lesser problem, it is in many ways the leitmotiv of history, but one doesn't come to power with a platform advertizing them.
Now take buddhism, a creed with a rather different slant on life from christianity. But still there is the promise of release from samsara, the endless cycle of death and rebirth, another appealing notion. Buddhism established itself in India but was relatively soon driven out though not before its missionaries had established bridgeheads in many parts of Asia where subsequently the belief and ritual (this last being a quite foreign notion to the historical Buddha I guess) were, by dint of the respective native peoples' genius, transformed and brought to various forms of fruition. Japan fashioning it into the rarified essence of zen on one end of the scale, and the Tibetans on the other end cluttering it up with a veritable barrage of ritual, superstition, magic and also mystical practices that must have been far removed from the historical Buddha's intentions. Let's take Tibet's case where buddhism, like christendom in feudal medieval Europe, realized the ultimate aim of all organized religion, i.e. the unification of the temporal and spiritual power. This, looked at from the point of view of religion is actually quite logical. One could even state that in the light of the idea of the tension between theory and practice, it comes down to a somewhat twisted way of adhering to the theory without giving up the malpractice. Indeed, the aim of organized religion cannot be any other than theocracy. The original aim of the founders of religions, seeing they are often emancipators, cannot be other than the opposite of theocracy. The aim of Karl Marx on the other hand was the emancipation of the working class, and today that means broadly speaking, just about everybody, but his way of achieving it was through dictatorship of the proletariat, which is tantamount to theocracy on a different plane. So on the practical level, where all these nice aims are to be implemented, what we see is usually a self-defeating (in the light of the theory) way of coping with circumstances. Still in some (and possibly more than one might think at first sight) of the systems of thought there is a tendency to cope with the great paradox of theory and practice. One example will suffice to illustrate this. In Tibetan buddhism, which is an incredibly elaborate edifice of thought and speculation, there is a concept that kind of refutes all that is typical of its philosophical spawning ground. Here one must take note of the specific nature of the Tibetan religion in which everything revolves around ritual, mantras, visualisations, purifications and offerings to hundreds of deities, many of them incorporated from the indigenous animistic Bön-religion, which was partly ousted and partly coöpted when buddhism was introduced to the Himalayan country. In this environment, teeming with the technicalities of organized religion and completely saturated with every imaginable hierarchical tool of thought there exists the concept of a mental attainment which is called the state of "kuzulu". Now, a kuzulu, is "one who eats, sleeps and shits"; in other words, this concept conceives of a person who does not pray, fast, count his beads, turn prayerwheels, treasure amulets, do pilgrimages, seek blessings from so-called incarnated lama's, recite half-incomprehensible sutras in a garbled mixture of Sanskrit and Tibetan etcetera. One who is beyond all that and just IS. Beyond the paradox of theory and practice, power structure and the tyranny of hierarchy. A great achievement that, whether realised or unrealised, but how can one come to it ? Through the whole rigmarole of ritual etcetera, or the party discipline etcetera ? Can one get there by some sort of miracle ? I don't know but it is THE question and I fear that the transformation of the question into the answer, seeing that both are often, when looked at very closely, mutually interchangeable, is the key that was lost. Let's see how difficult this can be and take as our example the widely acclaimed and extremely popular but probably fictitious tales Carlos Casteneda and his bucolic Indian lodestar Don Juan. After a lot of trials the latter explains to Carlos that he teaches him by continuously playing tricks on him. Now, of course, a trick can only work its effect if one hasn't seen it performed before. So Carlos can only be taught as he's not aware of the fact he's being tricked. Now transpose this argument to the "trick" of religions etcetera, of appeasing the two poles of positive theory and negative practice and some sort of circle is completed. It is not a comforting thought and probable at this point I should come forth with some simplistic rallying cry along the lines of those some of the so-called "new" religions victimize their aspiring followers with. Usually that goes something like this: all present-day religion is perverted and all politics is bunk, but never fear, because God, my conscience or whatever, inspired me to lead all you slobs to the light. Now if you just give me all your affection, love and most importantly, money and other possessions, and put your time and skills at my disposal, I'll make everything come out right and you'll be happy ever after. It sounds completely incredible but that is exactly the line thousands, if not millions ofpeople are falling for nowadays, and this in the more affluent societies. This is the kind of criminality, in religion and in politics, that teems wildly and seemingly cannot be rooted out.
February 1983, Mortsel - Kyoto; I can't imagine why I wrote this stuff or where it came from. It just gushed out but in the end it doesn't really seem to lead anywhere.
maandag 7 maart 2011
You mean so much more
I traveled far into girls' bodies
along the sidelines of their looks
I journeyed far in writers' minds
along the chapters of their books
I watched women standing, sitting
saw their eternity at rest
I felt their love and fear and longing
I gave my worst and took their best
and at the bottom of the ocean
there are sunken ships galore
and the bowels of the earth
are shot through with diamond ore
but you mean so much more
than what came before
yes you mean so much more
than any window, any door
yeah you mean so much more
I read novels, poems and plays
I got lost and found and worried
I wrote letters,lays and songs
I was slow but learned to hurry
I made love and war and peace
never really understanding
all this living all this learning
could be so damnably demanding
refr.
1993. Track 3 op Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993.
along the sidelines of their looks
I journeyed far in writers' minds
along the chapters of their books
I watched women standing, sitting
saw their eternity at rest
I felt their love and fear and longing
I gave my worst and took their best
and at the bottom of the ocean
there are sunken ships galore
and the bowels of the earth
are shot through with diamond ore
but you mean so much more
than what came before
yes you mean so much more
than any window, any door
yeah you mean so much more
I read novels, poems and plays
I got lost and found and worried
I wrote letters,lays and songs
I was slow but learned to hurry
I made love and war and peace
never really understanding
all this living all this learning
could be so damnably demanding
refr.
1993. Track 3 op Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993.
Somebody's waiting
There may be something on the news
some court-jester dancing
to some star-studded wallet tune
some politician prancing
there may be something in the air
it may be snow it may be rain
some people find their houses ablaze
others die riding out on a train
but I guess, oooh I guess
something, somebody's
waiting for me
somebody's waiting for me
Might be sometime out on the street
that final car that you just don't see
some scene out of a painting
all about mortality
something, somewhere might be wrong
tell me, how else do you think it could go
your mama might be betraying you
just like that, what do you know
refr.
God I do not know this building
and the curtains are all wrong
I forgot what day we are
still I guess I can't stay long
maybe when I'm making a speech
some crucial crowded meeting
eyes are following me from the shadows
sending them checkmate season's greetings
refr.
1980. Track 2 op Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993.
some court-jester dancing
to some star-studded wallet tune
some politician prancing
there may be something in the air
it may be snow it may be rain
some people find their houses ablaze
others die riding out on a train
but I guess, oooh I guess
something, somebody's
waiting for me
somebody's waiting for me
Might be sometime out on the street
that final car that you just don't see
some scene out of a painting
all about mortality
something, somewhere might be wrong
tell me, how else do you think it could go
your mama might be betraying you
just like that, what do you know
refr.
God I do not know this building
and the curtains are all wrong
I forgot what day we are
still I guess I can't stay long
maybe when I'm making a speech
some crucial crowded meeting
eyes are following me from the shadows
sending them checkmate season's greetings
refr.
1980. Track 2 op Ludo Mariman's CD They say uit 1993.
They say
People sharing anecdotes
'bout things they did together
get so much out of so little
and keep enjoying it forever
so they need not live too much
'cause they're never out of touch
with the little they have seen
in the one place they have been
for a moment that is always
with them through the endless days
and he says, she says, they say (2x)
for the old ones there's the war
for the others there's the sixties
all that happened once is stored
like a time-bomb in their memories
now they need not live too much
'cause they're never out of touch
with the many things they've seen
in the places they have been
in the moments that are always
with them through the endless days
and he says, she says, they say (2x)
1989. Titelnummer van Ludo Mariman's CD uit 1993.
'bout things they did together
get so much out of so little
and keep enjoying it forever
so they need not live too much
'cause they're never out of touch
with the little they have seen
in the one place they have been
for a moment that is always
with them through the endless days
and he says, she says, they say (2x)
for the old ones there's the war
for the others there's the sixties
all that happened once is stored
like a time-bomb in their memories
now they need not live too much
'cause they're never out of touch
with the many things they've seen
in the places they have been
in the moments that are always
with them through the endless days
and he says, she says, they say (2x)
1989. Titelnummer van Ludo Mariman's CD uit 1993.
zaterdag 5 maart 2011
Onto the lord
Oh the throne is trembling
trembling is my throne
fear brooks no dissembling
shaken to the bone
and all poverty's distress
stress is always groveling
life an endless game of chess
all the shit we're shoveling
onto the lord
who calls us calls us
come all ye come aboard
he calls us calls us
to the bitter end
and he's no man's friend
in the garden of the blind
cavorting with the hungry ghosts
all waiting for another sign
for another empty boast
about girls walking in pairs
and the men strolling alone
towards the windy empty stairs
where everyone's to push that stone
refr.
April 1985
trembling is my throne
fear brooks no dissembling
shaken to the bone
and all poverty's distress
stress is always groveling
life an endless game of chess
all the shit we're shoveling
onto the lord
who calls us calls us
come all ye come aboard
he calls us calls us
to the bitter end
and he's no man's friend
in the garden of the blind
cavorting with the hungry ghosts
all waiting for another sign
for another empty boast
about girls walking in pairs
and the men strolling alone
towards the windy empty stairs
where everyone's to push that stone
refr.
April 1985
Rush
Selling pain and pleasure
hoarding all that treasure
for a while, then risk it
all to savour fate's sweet biscuit
living on the telephone
heart and soul turned into stone
rushing up and down the highway
each and every goddamn day
Old as the hills
not paying the bills
for these expensive thrills
and their uncertainty that kills
lone wolves at sunset
looking for rooms to let
in the safe-and-sound machine
in the high-and-dry canteen
april 1985
hoarding all that treasure
for a while, then risk it
all to savour fate's sweet biscuit
living on the telephone
heart and soul turned into stone
rushing up and down the highway
each and every goddamn day
Old as the hills
not paying the bills
for these expensive thrills
and their uncertainty that kills
lone wolves at sunset
looking for rooms to let
in the safe-and-sound machine
in the high-and-dry canteen
april 1985
Pretty baby
She never pissed
she spent a penny
she had good manners
but far too many
every hair in place
around her pretty face
baby baby baby
maybe maybe maybe
life is not a race
yeah you need some feeling
yeah you need plain dealing
oh I'm thinking
we are sinking
pretty baby (3x)
She switches off
people like lights
she's got a heart
but it's untried
oh no flies on her
no she won't be hurt
baby baby baby
maybe maybe maybe
you are my girl
refr.
March 1985
she spent a penny
she had good manners
but far too many
every hair in place
around her pretty face
baby baby baby
maybe maybe maybe
life is not a race
yeah you need some feeling
yeah you need plain dealing
oh I'm thinking
we are sinking
pretty baby (3x)
She switches off
people like lights
she's got a heart
but it's untried
oh no flies on her
no she won't be hurt
baby baby baby
maybe maybe maybe
you are my girl
refr.
March 1985
Presidentsverkiezing
De lange, vormeloze schaduw van een weergaloze gestalt-therapiesessie valt over een groepje verdwaasde welzijnswerkers van verschillende leeftijden en standen die hoopvol sollicitatiebewijzen en stempelkaarten betasten in hun keurige binnenzakken. Er sluipt een goeroe-schandknaap over de kille binnenplaats, verdwaald op zijn zoektocht naar de assertiviteitsdisco die hier ergens in de buurt moet gevestigd zijn. Net open en alle nachten afgeladen vol met ego-doders aan de rol. Uit het naburige vrouwenvluchthuis klinkt een mengeling van gelach, gekreun en snikken. Een rijkswachtcombi stopt met gierende banden, 3 man springen eruit en hakken in op een alternatief type dat, later op het bureau, een agent-infiltrant in het drugsmilieu blijkt te zijn. En over de zee, de grote zee, ginder ver, in het land van belofte, notre Amérique à nous, wordt een sterke president verkozen om, met de vruchten van een economie die bloeit dankzij manipulaties die andere economieën wurgen, met son Europe à lui te doen en laten naar hem goeddunkt.
nov. 1984. Herverkiezing Reagan
nov. 1984. Herverkiezing Reagan
Night is long
Computer image of the past
comes in flashes and it flickers
it doesn't hurt now as it's passed
and it's a fool who goes and bickers
about what's gone
and what's been done
the night is long
and sleeping wrong.
When your swimming turns to drowning
there's nothing left to do but clowning
discussing everything you dream
and dreading tales 'bout her and him
refr.
nov. 1984
comes in flashes and it flickers
it doesn't hurt now as it's passed
and it's a fool who goes and bickers
about what's gone
and what's been done
the night is long
and sleeping wrong.
When your swimming turns to drowning
there's nothing left to do but clowning
discussing everything you dream
and dreading tales 'bout her and him
refr.
nov. 1984
Forget
I'm so small
and the world's so tall
looms over me
just like the Berlin Wall
can you hear the call ?
I've done it all
forget it all
yeah
I will
forget
I'm so blind
and the world's unkind
always jumping
you from behind
one thing on your mind
I've seen it all etc.
oct. 1984
and the world's so tall
looms over me
just like the Berlin Wall
can you hear the call ?
I've done it all
forget it all
yeah
I will
forget
I'm so blind
and the world's unkind
always jumping
you from behind
one thing on your mind
I've seen it all etc.
oct. 1984
Dawn is right
I've got the bottle but no baby
and I'm thinking that just maybe
if I hang on here till daybreak
there might be someone I could make
my partner in crime
new and old as time
oh the dawn is right
for loving
after such a night
love at dawn is right
I'm drinking like a desert man
who's movie's dying in the can
but hang on for I'm not lonely
I'm just alone but that is only
coincidence I tell you
something that won't do
refr.
And there are jewels in the barlights
in all the groaning and the sighs
complaints about what's wrong with life
about the heartache pointed as a knife
going through soft butter
pain that makes me stutter
refr.
oct. 1984
and I'm thinking that just maybe
if I hang on here till daybreak
there might be someone I could make
my partner in crime
new and old as time
oh the dawn is right
for loving
after such a night
love at dawn is right
I'm drinking like a desert man
who's movie's dying in the can
but hang on for I'm not lonely
I'm just alone but that is only
coincidence I tell you
something that won't do
refr.
And there are jewels in the barlights
in all the groaning and the sighs
complaints about what's wrong with life
about the heartache pointed as a knife
going through soft butter
pain that makes me stutter
refr.
oct. 1984
vrijdag 4 maart 2011
Darkness
A kind of darkness is upon us
but who cares when all is gone
all morals, yardsticks and the faiths
that made our fathers do what they have done
to their own detriment and ours
in fear and trembling married to mad pride
battling for ethics and religions now long dead
leaving carcasses of gods and saviours by the roadside
starfish on the tide of history
sweeping onto beaches where the sand
is drenched in blood of countless people
once believing fate was in their hands
it's always been that way until we learn
the lesson in the riddle of our days
the question put to you by emptiness
that feeds upon the marrow of your ways.
oct. 1984
but who cares when all is gone
all morals, yardsticks and the faiths
that made our fathers do what they have done
to their own detriment and ours
in fear and trembling married to mad pride
battling for ethics and religions now long dead
leaving carcasses of gods and saviours by the roadside
starfish on the tide of history
sweeping onto beaches where the sand
is drenched in blood of countless people
once believing fate was in their hands
it's always been that way until we learn
the lesson in the riddle of our days
the question put to you by emptiness
that feeds upon the marrow of your ways.
oct. 1984
Raadsels
Gekruisigd op het latwerk van hun eigen contradicties zijn mensen raadsels evoluerend tegen een achtergrond van méér raadsels. Al die rebussen en anagrammen van het zijn drijven weg en verzinken in de onmetelijke vergetelheid van de geschiedenis, van de natuur die niet om hun oplossing vraagt. Wij willen die oplossing wel en sommigen beweren dat al die raadsels hun eigen ontsluiering in zich dragen zoals ook gezegd wordt dat elke vraag haar antwoord bevat. Maar hoeveel zinloze vragen en flauwe raadsels kennen wij niet ? En wat als het leven een retorische vraag is ?
oct. 1984
oct. 1984
Autumn
Come to terms with loneliness
thriving in my onliness
a spectator in my time
putting the folly I witness in rhyme
a watcher by the tide, the sea
of wanton waste surrounding me
looking at things as they have been
and are, and which, once seen
leave one with that sadness but
is life lived better with eyes shut ?
mouthing slogans in deep trance
betting only on the off-chance
everything will fall into place
and your chosen god's to guild your face
into a replica of sweet reality
I tell you sweethearts, it won't be
19/10/84
thriving in my onliness
a spectator in my time
putting the folly I witness in rhyme
a watcher by the tide, the sea
of wanton waste surrounding me
looking at things as they have been
and are, and which, once seen
leave one with that sadness but
is life lived better with eyes shut ?
mouthing slogans in deep trance
betting only on the off-chance
everything will fall into place
and your chosen god's to guild your face
into a replica of sweet reality
I tell you sweethearts, it won't be
19/10/84
Politics
When Reagan and Andropov finally met
one of the assembled journalists said
"This tunnel, is there a light at its end ?"
both answered, "Yes, there sure is, my friend,
tunnels are really what history consists of
and if you look back you'll see that the gist of
the light at the end of the tunnel of what
we call World War Two was just what we got
when Hiroshima shone as bright as the sun,
does that answer your question then, son of a gun ?"
Published in Japan's Mainichi Daily News on august, 10, 1983
one of the assembled journalists said
"This tunnel, is there a light at its end ?"
both answered, "Yes, there sure is, my friend,
tunnels are really what history consists of
and if you look back you'll see that the gist of
the light at the end of the tunnel of what
we call World War Two was just what we got
when Hiroshima shone as bright as the sun,
does that answer your question then, son of a gun ?"
Published in Japan's Mainichi Daily News on august, 10, 1983
Late for the sun
I sit and I play
guitar in the station
the people passing by
they're the pride of the nation
but they're
late for the sun (2x)
for the sun now
the old men debate
and then one pronounces
on reasons and rhymes
and on just how fate pounces
too late for the sun (2x)
for the sun now
fearing the future
regretting the past
your soul is so callused
you don't know how it can last
they tell me we're rivers
then where is the sea ?
oh yes we are water
baby both you and me
but we're etc.
like a third world country
helpless and poor
I'd love to be growing
'cause that what I came for
refr. 1 + 2
juni 1983, Kyoto
guitar in the station
the people passing by
they're the pride of the nation
but they're
late for the sun (2x)
for the sun now
the old men debate
and then one pronounces
on reasons and rhymes
and on just how fate pounces
too late for the sun (2x)
for the sun now
fearing the future
regretting the past
your soul is so callused
you don't know how it can last
they tell me we're rivers
then where is the sea ?
oh yes we are water
baby both you and me
but we're etc.
like a third world country
helpless and poor
I'd love to be growing
'cause that what I came for
refr. 1 + 2
juni 1983, Kyoto
donderdag 3 maart 2011
Bad girls
Your eyes are without mercy
still I won't look away
they are just like mine have been
not quite knowing what they say
you never give an inch dear
you wouldn't know just how
and I take it all in dear
'cause I couldn't leave you now
your heart of gold
is metallic and cold
flown in from another dimension
full of lies and dissension
Yes good girls go to heaven
bad girls will go anywhere
oh you're black
oh you're white
you're all the colours of the night
yes good girls go to heaven
bad girls go everywhere
just take me there !
Well everything you've taken
is spread out on the bed
sometmes I feel forsaken
so I scream inside my head
a history of silence
a story full of lies
and minds so full of violence
their longing never dies.
refr.
1993. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993
still I won't look away
they are just like mine have been
not quite knowing what they say
you never give an inch dear
you wouldn't know just how
and I take it all in dear
'cause I couldn't leave you now
your heart of gold
is metallic and cold
flown in from another dimension
full of lies and dissension
Yes good girls go to heaven
bad girls will go anywhere
oh you're black
oh you're white
you're all the colours of the night
yes good girls go to heaven
bad girls go everywhere
just take me there !
Well everything you've taken
is spread out on the bed
sometmes I feel forsaken
so I scream inside my head
a history of silence
a story full of lies
and minds so full of violence
their longing never dies.
refr.
1993. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993
Memory
Those who do not see the future
must not swear by their own past
it may be lonely may be sad
but the feeling cannot last
Those who can't picture tomorrow
shouldn't talk of yesterday
there is all too much confusion
in the things we cannot say
I saw you with red ribbons
in your blue-black hair
I saw the eastwind take on
and off your every care
oh memory
take care of me
memory
in all I see
Those who do not see the future
take good care of what is gone
and the music rolls the stone beyond
all the drama going on
those who can't picture tomorrow
only grieve for what went by
they will build a house of sorrow
and will always be denied
refr.
I don't wanna miss you
I don't wanna be judged
some tenderness will do
I just wanna be touched
1991. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993
must not swear by their own past
it may be lonely may be sad
but the feeling cannot last
Those who can't picture tomorrow
shouldn't talk of yesterday
there is all too much confusion
in the things we cannot say
I saw you with red ribbons
in your blue-black hair
I saw the eastwind take on
and off your every care
oh memory
take care of me
memory
in all I see
Those who do not see the future
take good care of what is gone
and the music rolls the stone beyond
all the drama going on
those who can't picture tomorrow
only grieve for what went by
they will build a house of sorrow
and will always be denied
refr.
I don't wanna miss you
I don't wanna be judged
some tenderness will do
I just wanna be touched
1991. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993
Lay your burden down
If you feel there's just too much
you have to close your eyes against
you better make sure you
don't get to close your heart my friend
If you feel there's not enough
of everything that makes you smile
you better make sure you
don't walk another weary mile
and lay your burden down
way down on the ground
stop being a clown
of madness
lay your burden down
and turn around
way down on the ground
and turn around
If you were always thinking
and your brain just had you reeling
you better make sure you
quickly learn all about feeling
girls in their pert mini-skirts
with their bodies gayly calling
you better make quite sure you
put an end to all your stalling
1991. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993
refr.
you have to close your eyes against
you better make sure you
don't get to close your heart my friend
If you feel there's not enough
of everything that makes you smile
you better make sure you
don't walk another weary mile
and lay your burden down
way down on the ground
stop being a clown
of madness
lay your burden down
and turn around
way down on the ground
and turn around
If you were always thinking
and your brain just had you reeling
you better make sure you
quickly learn all about feeling
girls in their pert mini-skirts
with their bodies gayly calling
you better make quite sure you
put an end to all your stalling
1991. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993
refr.
A place in the sun
In this endless freezing rain
there is no one but a beggar
who tries time and time again
to change his outlook for the better
he's been starving on the quays
he's been hungry in the streets
he keeps weighing what he sees
against misfortunes that he meets
Life is not a game
'cause if it is you lose
it's not all the same
but who can choose
a place in the sun
a face full of fun ?
Time sure waits for someone
carving its lines around our mouths
and when we get out in the sun
we still don't know what it's about
refr.
1988. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993.
there is no one but a beggar
who tries time and time again
to change his outlook for the better
he's been starving on the quays
he's been hungry in the streets
he keeps weighing what he sees
against misfortunes that he meets
Life is not a game
'cause if it is you lose
it's not all the same
but who can choose
a place in the sun
a face full of fun ?
Time sure waits for someone
carving its lines around our mouths
and when we get out in the sun
we still don't know what it's about
refr.
1988. Staat op de miniCD Shake the jinx, door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993.
Jinx
I saw your eyes go dark
with a veil of doubt and fear
I tried to listen to your sadness
but I was too old to hear
I saw your eyes go blind
blotting out the very room
I tried to picture how we lost you
but I was too keen too soon
shake the jinx
is what I think
you should do
shake your head and blink
that's what you should do
shake the jinx
shake the jinx
I saw your eyes go dry
shutting out the very tears
that might have drained some of your sorrow
but you were no longer here
I saw your eyes go dark
staring at some mystery
that seemed to cancel all your life
god it was too much for me
refr.
1991. Titelnummer van miniCD door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993.
with a veil of doubt and fear
I tried to listen to your sadness
but I was too old to hear
I saw your eyes go blind
blotting out the very room
I tried to picture how we lost you
but I was too keen too soon
shake the jinx
is what I think
you should do
shake your head and blink
that's what you should do
shake the jinx
shake the jinx
I saw your eyes go dry
shutting out the very tears
that might have drained some of your sorrow
but you were no longer here
I saw your eyes go dark
staring at some mystery
that seemed to cancel all your life
god it was too much for me
refr.
1991. Titelnummer van miniCD door Ludo Mariman & the Exceptions uitgebracht in 1993.
Kamer
Ja dit is de kamer
hier is alles gebeurd
en zal altijd weer alles plaatsvinden
gifbekers zijn omgevallen
hosties werden sandwiches
en er waren vele vrouwen.
Hier kwam alles samen
en viel dan weer uiteen
de scherven zijn een land geworden
de vaas is onbestaand
van hier ben ik vertrokken
als een bedwelmde lifter
langs gods wegen kwam ik terug
om de satansproef te doen.
Hier was ik ziek en werd bepoteld
dan terug gezond en weergevonden
door meisjes die mij waardig waanden
hun trappen te bestijgen
en hun dromen te ontkennen
- hier werd alles richtingloos.
Ik hoor de talen tuimelen
langs de halflege glazen
ik hoor excuses, leugens, lachen
er gebeurt iets, maar ook niet
dit is nieuw, onzakelijk
de slogans zijn vergeefs gekalkt.
Ja, dit is de kamer
dit is ons gebouw
onze ziekte heeft vrij spel.
Hoor die honden blaffen !
2/3/2011
hier is alles gebeurd
en zal altijd weer alles plaatsvinden
gifbekers zijn omgevallen
hosties werden sandwiches
en er waren vele vrouwen.
Hier kwam alles samen
en viel dan weer uiteen
de scherven zijn een land geworden
de vaas is onbestaand
van hier ben ik vertrokken
als een bedwelmde lifter
langs gods wegen kwam ik terug
om de satansproef te doen.
Hier was ik ziek en werd bepoteld
dan terug gezond en weergevonden
door meisjes die mij waardig waanden
hun trappen te bestijgen
en hun dromen te ontkennen
- hier werd alles richtingloos.
Ik hoor de talen tuimelen
langs de halflege glazen
ik hoor excuses, leugens, lachen
er gebeurt iets, maar ook niet
dit is nieuw, onzakelijk
de slogans zijn vergeefs gekalkt.
Ja, dit is de kamer
dit is ons gebouw
onze ziekte heeft vrij spel.
Hoor die honden blaffen !
2/3/2011
You are my everything
Like a stamp or a key
I was found and lost
you made me feel
like a coin that was tossed
never my baby
sunshine or rain
I will come running in vain
oh You
you are my everything
I said, You
you are my everything
like a glass of champagne
bright on a tray
all dressed up in silk
and with eyes full of dreams
I'm nearly ready to scream
refr.
I will be in your band
I will be blowing my horn
all the while thinking, girl
that's why I was born
but you tell me baby
saying time after time
and just for your own peace of mind
refr.
walking on needles
and walking on sand
when you feel tired
just grab my hand
we're like children
playing and playing
kissing again and again and again
refr.
1989. Door Ludo Mariman op muziek gezet en in 1990 door Ben Crabbé en zijn toenmalige coverband the Floorshow uitgebracht als single (CNR Records)
I was found and lost
you made me feel
like a coin that was tossed
never my baby
sunshine or rain
I will come running in vain
oh You
you are my everything
I said, You
you are my everything
like a glass of champagne
bright on a tray
all dressed up in silk
and with eyes full of dreams
I'm nearly ready to scream
refr.
I will be in your band
I will be blowing my horn
all the while thinking, girl
that's why I was born
but you tell me baby
saying time after time
and just for your own peace of mind
refr.
walking on needles
and walking on sand
when you feel tired
just grab my hand
we're like children
playing and playing
kissing again and again and again
refr.
1989. Door Ludo Mariman op muziek gezet en in 1990 door Ben Crabbé en zijn toenmalige coverband the Floorshow uitgebracht als single (CNR Records)
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